I’ve been awake for hours. It’s now 10:24 and I’m deep inside my head beating the crap out of myself for circumstances in my past that lead me to this whole farming thing today.
It’s so hard to sit and think back all those years ago to 2006-2008 but I think I need to for a bit today. Since those fateful days, I’ve learned so much about myself and about the true depth of impact my upbringing and to those years had on me. Looking back now, with 20-20 hindsight, I can see where so much went wrong and where it all started to go right.
It’s easy to say that I started this farming thing as a way to cope and deal with severe depression and anxiety. It’s not so easy to say that I learned I’m down right stubborn about making it continue. I’m on a mission. One that I think has been given to me and lives vividly in my dreams and are meant to become reality. Each passing day continues to shine lights on deja vu moments.
It’s crazy how all this keeps coming together. Even during the hardest of days when the pain is nearly unbearable and I just want to crawl into bed to cry, I still keep moving forward. I keep gaining ground and building confidence. I’m definitely NOT the person I was in 2006.